Thinking back on before

I set up a new webpage. It takes a little while. Maybe part of this is because I’m retarded about computers outside of recording so I didn’t know how to transfer most of the info from my old site to the new one, so there was a lot of typing. Thank god I actually saved a lot of things like the bio, and press stuff. What took the longest though, was typing in the lyrics to the albums. You would think this would be easy–I wrote them so they should just pour out. Context is a weird thing. If I had a guitar in my hand, I could sing all of them to you no problem. Well, maybe a little bit because some songs are more familiar because they get played live more. Some songs NEVER have been played live.

It was interesting to do this. I’m currently finishing the lyrics for the new album. This is always the last component for me. It happens in three ways for me: It all comes out in one big blob and is 90% done right then. (wake up, pouring rain, shine, run to the river come to mind) I mumble a lot during the melody recording and there are syllables or words I key into that form the basis of the idea for the song or lyric (i’m awake, virginia, light) then there are the ones that I need to start totally from scratch and think. So anyway, I’m writing lyrics now. And here I was typing in the lyrics to the old songs. And I had to listen to them to remember. Funny. I think it’s kind of like how when you’ve lived somewhere for a long time, you don’t know street names anymore, but you know exactly how to get somewhere. At least that happens to me. I hope I’m not the only one!!!

The process made me think about the words to the songs in a whole new way. I actually listened to the songs in a different way. I know what I think the songs are about. I also don’t know if the words are any good. Listening to them and writing them down was a very different type of exercise and I realized I really love the lyrics. They’re pretty good. They say exactly what I wanted them to say, and I think the story gets across, but is still very open to the listener to interpret.

This reminded me of a conversation I had with my bass player. We were rehearsing one day and we were doing ‘Bombs’ which I really love. It was his favorite song. I started to talk about what the song meant for me, where I was coming from etc, and he said I was wrong. He then told me his version and what it meant to him. I had never thought of the song in the personal way he spoke about it and related to it. At that moment, I couldn’t really get my head around it because I had always thought that that particular song was about as blatant as I could be. He left and I listened to it again from his perspective and I saw it. Which was an amazing experience. I often write songs about people I observe, things that happened to me, stories I’ve heard and wrap them up into some type of story, or pictures or character. Even if I’m writing about me. But after I heard his story about my song, well, it meant a lot to me that he shared it.

So I was listening to the songs and writing down my own words which I couldn’t remember…(it’s not the drugs really!!)…and it was like ‘hearing’ them for the first time. This happens to me when I play with a band, because everyone eventually adds their own style into the song and they become different. It’s like seeing a movie, which is always the same, like a CD, then seeing the same story but in a theater where it’ll be a little different every night and every time it’s put on by a different company. This had never happened with the words, I’m speaking about the music.

But that’s what happened to me during this process. It probably affected be a lot more because they are my songs and I know what they are about. Especially the songs from ‘Reach’ and ‘Myself Again’. I went through a lot personally during those two album and it’s perfectly reflected, for me at least, in those songs. It made me well up with tears in some places, and I also realized that some of the songs I thought were uplifting or hopeful, didn’t seem that way. Maybe it’s the remove of time, thinking back on things, or maybe some of the songs really were a lot more personal than I had thought.

Or, maybe I just really had the chance for the first time to relate to my songs the way everyone else does. I heard them for the first time as someone listening to a song and thinking about how I related to it, or how it mirrored me and my life.

Which was way cool.

More to come…

peace

ps–there is a members page on the new site that has special content. There is a demo from the new CD as well as two live tracks that you can download up there now. Check it out.